


When Blaine met Deadpool

by HeronRainwater



Series: Blaine Stark 'verse [19]
Category: Deadpool (Comics), Glee, Marvel, The Amazing Spider-Man (2012), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Now Blaine and Peter and Wade are friends, Peter and Blaine are besties, Peter and Wade are also friends, Wade swears a lot, Watch your mouth Wade, blaine anderson stark, blaine stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeronRainwater/pseuds/HeronRainwater
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’ve got Blainers now,” Wade ruffled Blaine’s hair and then wiped his hand on his thigh. “God, you want any more gel or should we just buy you a helmet?”<br/>“I, uh-”<br/>“Joking, Blainers, it’s a joke. You’re rich; you’ve probably already got a helmet.”</p><p>Peter introduces Blaine to Deadpool. It goes just about as well as you'd expect it to. Wade is himself. Blaine is awkward. Peter is no help at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Blaine met Deadpool

**Author's Note:**

> A warning to anyone offended by frequent swearing, because Wade swears all the time in this. Watch your mouth, Wade, gosh.

“What if he hates me?” Blaine whispered, following a step behind as Peter led the way along the landing.

“Don’t take it personally; he hates just about everyone,” Peter shrugged, stopping outside an apartment and rapping on the door, “Hey, Wade! Open up!”

“All right, all right, God, don’t get your fucking panties in a bunch, Parker, I’m coming.” Blaine resisted the urge to flinch as the door flew open. The man in question was about an inch taller than Peter and stood a little too casually for someone dressed from head to toe in what was effectively red and black spandex.

“You seriously just sit around here in that?” Peter raised an eyebrow, “Seriously?”

“I’m motherfucking Deadpool, brat, I do whatever the hell I want,” He took a step backwards and extended an arm, “You gonna stand out there all day or are you coming in?”

“We were waiting for an invitation,” Peter replied, nudging Blaine into the apartment. “Oh, this is-”

“Blaine Stark, I know. Kid’s kinda famous,” Deadpool finished. The inability to see his face intimidated Blaine; was he being mocked? Was there a smirk under the mask? Probably, there must’ve been mocking, Peter and Deadpool were basically superheroes and Blaine was a kid in a Glee Club with an affinity for bow ties.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Blaine managed, holding out a hand unsurely.

Deadpool scoffed, “Doesn’t seem that way, does it? You look like I’m about to tear off your head and roast you alive.”

“You aren’t the most welcoming of people, Wilson,” Peter said, clearing a space on the couch for himself, “Blaine’s polite and you’re an asshole.”

“Shut up, Parker, I can be polite,” Deadpool shook Blaine’s hand vigorously as if to prove a point, “Wade Wilson. Call me whatever the fuck you like, kid, doesn’t bother me.”

“Right,” Blaine nodded, looking to Peter to fill the impending silence but coming up with nothing. “So, uh, what do you do?”

“Anything with a pulse, really,” Wade shrugged. Peter snorted; Blaine’s face flushed red.

“Wade, you’ve gotta take it slow with the sarcasm.”

“No I don’t; you never seen Tony Stark on TV?”

“I’ve seen him in real life.”

“Well, he’s a Goddamn sarcasm machine, I’m pretty sure his kid can cope with it. Right, Starky?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Blaine mumbled.

“See?” Wade said pointedly. He paused. “Petey didn’t tell you what I do?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“No, he didn’t,” Blaine bit his lip. “You’re like him though, right? Like a SHIELD agent or one of Xavier’s-”

“Nah, they didn’t want me,” Wade dismissed, “And I don’t have the moral conscience for superhero-ing. In case you hadn’t worked it out, I’m kind of a douchebag.”

“Oh.”

“No, I kill people.”

Blaine watched him, blinking slowly.

“You can’t leave it at _that_ ,” Peter huffed, “I swear, Blaine, I’m not friends with a serial killer.”

“You kind of are, Parker.”

“You aren’t a serial killer, you’re a _mercenary_.”

“Like Natasha and Clint?” Blaine directed at Peter, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, kinda,” Peter shrugged. “Hey, when was the last time you cleaned in here? It’s disgusting.”

“Shut up, Parker, you aren’t my mother.”

“I was just asking-”

“Don’t. God, why do I put up with you?”

“Because you have no other friends.”

“Not true, I’ve got Blainers now,” Wade ruffled Blaine’s hair and then wiped his hand on his thigh. “God, you want any more gel or should we just buy you a helmet?”

“I, uh-”

“Joking, Blainers, it’s a joke. You’re rich; you’ve probably already got a helmet.”

“Um-”

“Go easy on him, Wade.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, Blainers?”

“Yeah?”

“What would the great Anthony Stark say if he knew his innocent little boy was hanging round with a killer?”

“He’d kill me,” Blaine answered without a beat, “He’d probably kill you. And Peter.”

“What?” Peter turned to glare indignantly at Blaine, “What have I done?”

“I’m here because you brought me here. My dad once had a guy fired for asking if he could turn down the Black Sabbath on the PA system. He gets a little rash when he’s mad.”

“Huh,” Wade nodded, “Not at all over-protective. You’d better not mention it to him, I’m not having a stand-off with Irony man.”

“It’s, uh, it’s Iron Man,” Blaine corrected.

“That was another joke. God, you’re so fucking cute, aren’t you? You’re gonna give me cavities.”

“Oh. Right. Uh-”

“Just clear yourself a space and sit down, kid. If your dad’s gonna destroy you for being here, you might as well make the most of it, right?”

Blaine tried not to screw up his face in disgust as he took in the beer cans Peter had shoved over to the seat next to him, “Um, sure.”

“This is how we live in the land of the poor,” Wade spread his arms wide.

“How much do you get from being a mercenary?” Peter raised an eyebrow, “You aren’t poor, you freaking liar.”

“Fuck off, Parker.”


End file.
